The 4:30 Movie (2024)

2 Stars (out of 4)

Ticket Snub

By Jeffrey M. Anderson

Kevin Smith's comedy The 4:30 Movie sounded like paradise for longtime cinephiles, it ends up more like purgatory, focusing on sex jokes and dumb humor rather than on lovable characters or love of cinema.

It's the summer of 1986, and teen Brian (Austin Zajur) finally works up the courage to call his crush Melody Barnegat (Siena Agudong) and ask her out to the movies. They're too young to get into see Bucklick, so they plan to buy tickets for Astro Blaster and the Beaver Men and sneak in.

Meanwhile, Brian and his two best pals Belly (Reed Northrup) and Burny (Nicholas Cirillo) show up at the movie theater — with a pocket full of movie bacon — to spend the day. Trouble begins when they repeatedly cross paths with the egomaniacal manager Mike (Ken Jeong) and find themselves banned for life. After hearing some advice from an older usher, and a fellow movie buff (Genesis Rodriguez), Brian decides to make a stand and win Melody once and for all.

The 4:30 Movie begins with Brian's phone call to ask out Melody. Apparently he hasn't spoken to her in a year, since they kissed in her pool. And yet, he's full of confidence and witty banter; there's no discernible reason he would have waited a year.

Then, for at least a half-hour, we're treated to the aforementioned "humor," along with lots of annoying bickering among the friends, and "ironically" bad predictions about what the future will bring ("Star Wars is done!"). Many of Smith's usual cast appear in small cameos, often so fast you miss them, and frequently in charge of jokes that don't land (Justin Long waxing poetic on Rocky IV, Method Man talking about movies not being real, and Jason Biggs in a fake movie trailer called Booties).

Somewhere around the halfway point, the movie takes on a certain sweetness as characters finally begin conversing with one another (Smith's Jersey Girl has a similar rhythm) rather than shouting and arguing. But, for a movie that runs slightly less than 88 minutes, that doesn't leave a lot of time left to establish any kind of emotional stake.

If The 4:30 Movie had begun with a little more care, and embraced its time and place with a little more than just irony, it might have felt more endearing. As is, it's too unfunny bother with the price of a ticket.