Pirates (2005)

Caribbean Queens

By Jeffrey M. Anderson

Buy Pirates -- 'R' Rated Edition -- on DVD

Joone's Pirates is the biggest porno movie yet released. It has actual production values, including costumes, a sweeping musical score and special effects, and it had its very own official big screen premiere in Los Angeles, in an age when most adult films go straight to video. It also showcases lovely sex scenes lit by flickering firelight as well as exciting swordfights with skeletons (straight out of Jason and the Argonauts). Beautiful Jesse Jane cuts a striking figure in her pirate garb and attacks her sex and fellatio scenes with a hearty new gusto and Evan Stone has a likeable comic persona that comes through in his role as the inept pirate hunter captain. But most of the other actors are unable to handle the film's dialogue scenes, and it's difficult to sit through the lengthy 129-minute film without squirming. Even if it skimps on acting lessons, Pirates still goes a long way in legitimizing the adult movie biz (it's quite a bit better than certain recent mainstream releases).

DVD Details: Digital Playground's spectacular three-disc DVD set ($39.95) matches the scope and scale of the film. On Disc One, writer/director Joone provides a commentary track along with several of his stars. Disc Two comes with a making-of featurette, bloopers, tons of trailers and other little pirate treasures. Disc Three includes the high definition version of the film for those lucky enough to have players and TV sets to accommodate it.

DVD Details II: In July of 2006, Digital Playground released an "R" rated version.

Starring: Evan Stone, Jesse Jane, Janine, Teagan Presley, Carmen Luvana, Frank Bukkwyd, Devon, Tommy Gunn, Jenaveve Jolie, Austyn Moore, Chris Slater, Steven St. Croix, Brian Surewood
Written by: Joone
Directed by: Joone
MPAA Rating: Unrated, but for adults only
Running Time:129 minutes
Date: January 5, 2006

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