Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)

Overwritten, overacted and over-effected, these elements butt heads at every turn, rather than working together. Even the wondrous Catherine Keener, who can usually save a bad movie, gets lost. As Medusa, poor Uma Thurman even conjures up reminders of her "Poison Ivy" character from the infamous Batman & Robin (1997).

Typical teenage screwup Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) learns that he's actually the son of Poseidon, born of a human mother (played by Keener). Unfortunately everyone thinks he has stolen Zeus's lightning bolt, prompting the start of a war in just 14 days' time. Why 14 days? That's just the first of a series of simple, stupid questions that the movie never answers. Then comes an ad-hoc road trip through Nashville and Las Vegas, accompanied by hottie Annabeth (Alexandra Daddario) and a comical black sidekick (Brandon T. Jackson), who might have escaped from a Jack Benny sketch. Eventually they discover the entrance to hell, and it's the place where crappy movies are made.